Sharon Thinkin Out Loud
Friday, May 30, 2003:
Okay, I now feel that my son's bedroom is the most haunted room in this house. First of all, I hear the bumping knocking all the time. I also previously heard our ghost/phantom cat in there in full sound. I went in there a few minutes ago and I heard someone moving around on his bed (you know that creaky sound a matress can get), but no one WAS THERE. I even looked under the bed in case somehow an animal or someone was hiding underneath. First of all, there is no way a person or bigger pet could fit under there. There's only about two inches space. WTF?!
Sharon // 10:47 AM
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Yep, I am getting closer to the truth. Bob Hope didn't show up to his little birthday suaree yesterday, more proof he's already bought the farm....
Sharon // 10:45 AM
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OMG - Hilarious (adult content)
http://www.101schlongs.com/index.html
Sharon // 10:44 AM
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Thursday, May 29, 2003:
Today is Bob Hope's 100th Birthday. Personally, I have a sneakin suspicion that Bob's already kicked the bucket - but his family's holding out for the big 100th birthday gifts! Oh well, Happy Birthday anyway, Bob!
Sharon // 1:39 PM
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Wednesday, May 28, 2003:
What... the... fu.....?!
http://www.crazyass13.com/images/fat_christina.jpg
Sharon // 10:39 AM
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On Monday, we found the greatest place to picnic and/or camp. It is called Caswell Memorial State Park. The whole area is green, lush, and shady. It is in Ripon right on the Stanislaus River, so there is fishing also. The campsites have storage cabinet, campfire ring, clean picnic table, cement parking space, and lotsa SHADE. It was so nice. The picnic areas are beautiful. We will probably have a birthday party there this year. Shannon (Aug) or Danny (Sept) I guess. CA State Parks has a website www.CAescapes.com. and www.parks.ca.gov. You can read more there.
Sharon // 9:52 AM
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I picked up a few sampler votives of Yankee Candles yesterday. Dan said he wanted one that smelled like "the outside of a laundrymat." Okay, laundry detergent. The scent "Clean Cotton" is exactly like that. (PS: For other people who like that, Smell This! fragrances have a body spray/perfume scent called "Fresh Towels" - smells soooo good and reasonably priced.) So I got one of those, and then a "Warm Apple Crisp." Yummy smelling. The clean cotton one is a bit strong for me, but it is really fresh and Dan likes it. So, I still want to try a few more samplers before I get a 22 oz. jar(s). Funny, I received a 20% coupon from Bed, Bath & Beyond in the mail the other day and they have a whole crapload of those candles there. Right up in Modesto on Sisk. Cool.
Sharon // 9:31 AM
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WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE? CAKE OR BED?????
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHT, NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!
THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.
FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.
I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE HIM A CAKE.
HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?
SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!
Sharon // 9:18 AM
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